Hanging in there

We haven't seen her for the second day straight now. Is she awake? Is she wondering where we have gone? One more day to go, and it is really getting hard on us all. Tough to be away from home, work, school and friends. And worst of all, to not be with her, to comfort our little girl. Leaving her on Thursday, at the end-was terrible. She had a runny nose, was a bit grumpy and hot, and felt poorly. And she wanted us so bad, even me. She kept reaching out to us, it was so hard to leave here there. What are we doing here, with so much time?We keep sneaking out the pictures, Kaia and I, at different times through the day. I found this one-and it tells a little story. There was some confusion with our driver being late at the end of our visit, so we got to go into the general area for 30 'extra' minutes, and be with her for snack time, potty, and put her down for nap. All the kids knew the routine, by heart. They were so excited for The Cracker! Sylvi wouldn't take hers until Kaia was next to her, and then immediately wanted to go back to her, to be held AND eat. Kaia knelt down with her, to stay her in the seat, but Sylvi would not let go of her hand. She loved the feeling, something no one has ever done I'm sure. In this picture, Sylvi is smiling at the other little lost souls around the table, just feeling great about herself. The others are just staring at this beautiful woman, who is staring at their friend and holding her hand, wiping her little face, smiling at her.To the workers at the orphanage, I'm sure they think Sylvi is totally spoiled, on the road to becoming our American baby. Heck, from what we've seen, we are all spoiled. Sylvi was dressed in the outfit we brought her, clean white shirt, sweet capri pants, her hair combed, face washed, new shoes. Kaia had even timmed her hair a bit, to fix the 'mullet' they had left her. And think; just being held for a few seconds is a special time for the kids there. She LOVES Kaia. She doesn't know Mommy, what that is. But Kaia makes her feel so good, and is so comforting, always gentle, knows what she needs. Kaia can't wait to 'spoil' her with attention, maybe stroke her face when she goes to sleep, pick her up when she cries, wipe her nose, or even hold her hand while she eats. Wow.I know that it won't be easy. I know there will be hard times ahead. But every day we can walk upstairs in our house, to Sylvi's room, and see her in her bed, sit and stroke her hair, tell her a story when she can't sleep, or just hold her hand; that is something we all will feel lucky to do. Just to have her, to be able to work out some problem she is having, any hour of the day, or night. That will be ok, she will be home, and know that we love her. That's what we talk about now, wake up in the night thinking about when the wind blows.We are getting there, slowly. Tomorrow is Sunday-another no visit day that will be hard to take. But then Monday we see her. Tuesday is the day she is ours by Russian Law. Tuesday night in this hotel, 5 of us together-waiting to spoil this little girl, just a bit. That I can take.